I like the phrase, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” 

We, especially women, put others first and care for our loved ones, but forget about ourselves. 

You might be a mother to children in a full or empty nest. You might be a mother to pets. You might want to be a mother in the future or not. It is all involved in giving our loving energy to another. But what about ourselves?

Do we love ourselves unconditionally, like a mother loves her kids?

Do we give ourselves what we need or expect others to provide it for us?

You might have a mother on the physical plane or in spirit. You might have or had an excellent or challenging relationship with her. I cannot relate because I don’t know what it is to have a mother. My mom didn’t raise me. I didn’t receive the mothering I needed. 

For years, I have been seeking someone to take care of me and “mother” me. 

Becoming a mother to myself

Becoming a mother to myself and healing old wounds became my realization when I stepped into the 6-month Divine Writing Journey in 2020 of writing the first draft of my book. 

Even now, I have been reminded to be gentle and hold myself with love while I write and translate my memoir from my native tongue into English. The journey of writing a memoir has been challenging and healing. I allow the hidden to surface, processing old stories, facing my inner demons, reflecting, learning from my experiences, and most of all, forgiving myself for being hard on myself. 

Mothering myself has been the center of my work in healing childhood wounds. Learning to receive the love that I’d been craving from myself and others, and reminding myself “I’m enough and worthy of love” had been a struggle for years.

For additional support, I called upon goddesses. Isis, the great mother goddess in Egyptian mythology, appeared in my life to tell me it was time for mothering. 

As I journeyed to the temple of Isis during meditation, she embraced me with unconditional love. And I asked her to mother me. The goddess held me close to her heart, and I heard the mother’s heartbeats that I missed as a child. I felt comfort, love, and safety in Isis’s nurturing arms. I cried as she gave me what was missing from my childhood. 

When I offered a gift to her, she told me that the greatest gift I could give her was to love and care for myself with kindness and compassion. 

Diving deeper

The best way to find out what works for you is to ask yourself: “Where do I need to mother myself? What benefits will I receive from mothering myself?” 

Here are some suggestions: 

• Create a sacred space for yourself where you feel safe.
• Connect to your body, check in with it, and listen to how you feel.
• Make self-care a priority. You cannot give from an empty cup. Refill yours first. Treat yourself with love and compassion.
• Believe in yourself, my dear. I believe in you!
• Celebrate yourself and your small and big wins.
• Nourish yourself with healthy food.
• Be your OWN cheerleader, particularly when times are tough. Affirmations can support you to feel better about yourself.

Please, don’t be hard on yourself. Remind yourself that you are doing your best. Remember to take care of yourself and give what your body, mind, and soul NEED. Join a sisterhood for support. You don’t have to carry all your hardships and burdens on your own. Ask for help if you need it. I am here for you.